Terrible Three's

I never would have believed that going through the terrible 3's would be as bad as they joke about.  My first child was so easy.  Could it really be that bad?

Anastasia has found her voice, and normally it's in the form of the word NO.  NO, I don't want to eat dinner.  NO, I am not getting out of the car.  NO, I will not get off the computer.  NO, NO, NO.

Then, there's this new development we've been subjected to.  The TANTRUM.  It's the moment when she has been asked, very reasonably I believe, to do something...Anything.

  "Ana, lets pick up your toys before we have lunch."

  The shakes start, the stress expands, her little face scrunches up, her arms start spazing, and suddenly, we're experiencing a full blown 3.5 on the Riktor scale tantrum. Tearless crying combined with slumping on the floor, and there I am, watching her, wondering what in the hell has happened to my little girl.  

As many helpless parents have figured out, there really isn't a great way to deal with this.  Do you ignore it?  Stepping over and ignoring the child works, but grates on the parents last nerve.  Should I yank her into my lap and dole out the spanking she's definitely asking for?  Not a good idea in public.  Is there a way to curb this acting out, without loosing your temper, pulling your hair out and looking like the parent you never wanted to be?

So far, the only thing I have come up with is picking her up and putting her in her room until she is finished.  Then when she's quiet, she's allowed to come out, as long as she's going to act like a little girl, and not throw a tantrum.  I don't think that I am rewarding this behavior in doing so.  She still will not be able to get whatever it is she was wanting, and if she throws a tantrum again, she can do so in her room.

It's really weird, because Alexandra was not like this in the slightest.  I remember the separation anxiety, but never the tantrums.  They really weren't kidding when they said that no two children will ever be alike.

Anyone else have good ideas?  Feel free to post them back to me.  I do like my hair.  :)

Learning a new language...kinda

So, here I am two years almost since I started dating a Mexican.  This love of my life is so wonderful, and now I have the oppertunity to get to know his parents as well, and wouldn't you know it....I can't speak a damn little bit of Spanish.  What's wrong with this particular situation? 

1.  Even though I took two years of Spanish in college, I can't speak more than the really good four letter words.  Most that I wouldn't say in english, due that the fact that it would probably make me blush.

2.  Those are not the types of words you want to say to your future in-laws.  It is guarenteed not to impress them.


3.  I have bought all kinds of books.  Spanish for Dummies 1-4, Mexican Spanish Phrasebooks by Lonley planet, and signed up with an online school called Livemocha.com.  They are pretty cool, except, I seem to be having problems staying awake while I am reading them.  The online thing is great, but....

4.  I FEEL LIKE A HUGE IDIOT. 

I think this is what has kept me captive to the English language, not allowing me to venture forth into the language that will open up a good portion of the world to me.  Have I gotten too old to learn a new language? 

So, this is me, one week before my in-laws arrive, trying to learn more than cuss words so I can speak to his parents while they stay with us for the next month.  If anyone has any good ideas, let me know.

Change?

Addendum:  This is a paper I wrote for my Creative Non-Fiction Class this week.  I thought it was kind of fun and some what snarky.  Hope you enjoy it.

 

When I was four, I dreamed about the day when I would walk down the aisle, staring into the blue eyes of my intended. His name was Charles, and I was supposed to be his wife, to grow up to add to the population of pastor’s babies.  Never dreamed that change would come. 

            When I turned ten, the innocent fun was over.  I begged him to stay, but with a slam of the proverbial door, and a very steep hill in the setting desert sand, Charles followed my father’s departure into the horizon.  Change had arrived.  I also started my period that summer, making the changes in my bra area that much more prevalent.  Gee wiz…talk about luck. 

            I met a boy, again. A blue eyed god this one, with the voice of an angel and the exotic skin of the Mediterranean.  The other girls thought so too.  I caught his eyes with my own dark looks, but couldn’t manage to keep them.  Not long before he changed his mind too. 

            Love ‘em and leave ‘em became my personal motto.  Love them in a way they’d never forget.  Leave ‘em first.  Most still remember me. At least that’s what Facebook displays every time a new lost memory surfaces to request my friendship.  Did I ever really talk to you people?  I don’t remember if I did.  Hope it was good, although I have doubts on the stimulation of the brain cells with the passage of time.

 I left all my great loves before I was twenty.  Left the blue-eyed best friend I believed to be my soul mate for a cold and indifferent lover.  Stationed in Ft. Jackson, SC.  The arms of the ARMY beckoned me with promises of adventure and change.  Change from the little dust bowl I called home.  Off came the long tresses that branded me woman.  Donned were those beautifully proud greens, backed by the red, white and blue.  Change arrived again as swiftly as the day I signed the papers handing my life to that so-called lover, instead of attending a rather famous, (and very naked) bunny photo shoot in California.  My love for things green dwindled as freedom beckoned me with a tantalizing finger. 

            So I married a stripper in a gay bar after obtaining my release papers.  How’s that for a loop?  On top of the world, living in someone’s kitchen and sleeping on an air mattress.

 On top is how I found him over my best friend, and roommate when I was seven months pregnant with our baby girl.  Baby had no daddy after my night in a cold jail cell.  None of the officers blamed me of course, but they just couldn’t let me smack a guy in such a defenseless position.  Changed my mind about jail.  Sucked much worse than I first believed. 

Back home, hate Ohio, hate him.  Loved him, or the idea of him, ideal perhaps?  Safe in the desert sands again.  Safe and unchanging… except for the life that grew.  One sunny October morning, the biggest change of my nineteen years occurred.  I became Mommy.  Not only did my center of gravity shift, but my name changed in that second.  Regret?   Never.  It’s been ten years since that day, and I have continued the changing process.  Graduated from college, late, but done none-the-less.  Working on another degree.  Amazing for one who flunked out of Honors English in high school. 

Now, Baby two is almost three, and again, I dream of walking down the isle with my blue eyed fiance.  Only this time, he’s got a Spanish accent (although still named Charles), and a promise in his eyes.  The promise of changes to come.  The promise of no regrets, and of a future that only requires me to love.

           

Bridal Showers and Government officials

So here's the thing.  In seven days there will be a bridal shower here at my house, downstairs in the livingroom of my mother.  That wouldn't seem quite so impressive, except that I have changed my mind on the idea, time, and place for the shower about ten times.  Also, significant fact... I wasn't so sure I wanted to have one of these in the first place.  I can't stand the idea of having a bunch of people gather in one spot for the express purpose of watching me open gifts.  It's creepy.


So, my little brain came up with a wonderful idea that combined the words Wine and Festival, and Blam!  here's the Cederberg Wine Festival going on the same day as the Bridal shower!!!!!  Let's think, sitting in a small room opening presents, or wandering through the streets of Cederberg and wine venders and tons of food and pumpkin  carving and all that.  Not to put down the idea of a bridal shower in the customariy sense of the word, and I know that the people helping to put this thing together are just going to have a shit fit, but I really love the idea of doing the festival.  So, Please ladies, forgive me for changing my mind one more time.  Last time this week.  I promise. 

Now, on to the last part.  Today is voting day here in Milwaukee.  And again, I am not voting.  Now, many would yell that I am not being American, and that I should take the  oppertunity to have my voice heard through our officials.  And I agree.  That is exactly why I will not be stepping out to the ballots today.  I have not done any research on any of the candidates that are running, and it would be wholly irresponsible of me to cast a vote on decisions that I have not researched.  On the other side of it, I wasn't aware that elections were going on today.  So, does that make me irresponsible, or just unaware?

A/C Anyone?

Is it really so difficult to show up at your scheduled time?  If you tell a customer that you will be arriving around noon, why should she wait until almost 2pm, only to call you and find out that you lost the phone number, so didn't show up?  SERIOUSLY. 

Customer service should be just that.  And I'm hot and irritable now thank you very much.  Stop making the people of the world wait for cool air and other simple services.  Damn.  Wish I would have called someone more reliable.  This is ridiculous. 

Religion

Bear with me,  this is kinda a doozie, but I'm irritated, and need to get it out.

This last weekend I was drawn into a conversation the mentioned the Greatest Enemy to God's Church.   The way I see it, the greatest enemy the Church of God can have is the people of the Church itself.  

In the name of religion, nations have been slaughtered.  In the name of God, innocent women were burned at the stakes.  Even today, the name of God is being induced to fly planes into buildings and blow people up. 

Enemy: One hostile to another.   Has anyone ever tried to tell a Christian that they were wrong in their beliefs?  Or pelted a Jehova's witness with eggs as they knocked at your door?  Or laughed openly at a Mormon?  How about talking bad about the guy who owns the corner gas station because he's Muslim?  Hmmmm......

I believe that if you profess to believe in something, as any organized religion does, that the people of that religion should stand for what the religion believes in. You can not talk like a good little christian  on Sundays, and then go out and cheat on your wife, beat your children, or any of the other atrocious things that humanity decides to do in their private lives.  Hypocrite.  

I do not profess to be a Christian, nor a Morman, nor Baptist, Lutheren, Buddahist, Taoist, or Wiccan.  I have been baptized in most of these religions, and spent the last 10 years studying the others.  Guess what Churchgoers of the world?  

THEY ARE ALL EXACTLY THE SAME.   You preach the same core values.  You raise your children to believe in the good and the righteous.  You pray while others meditate.  You believe in a divine power that hears your pleas.  You strive to love your neighbor and respect the earth.  God has come to each one you through the same stories, just a different name.  Did you miss that in all of your studies on religion?

So why then is it so easy to dismiss another view, to label someone else as the sinner, or the uninformed?  There is wisdom in the words of the bible.  "Pull the plank from your eye before trying to take the splinter out of your neighbor's eye."  Stop being ignorant of the truths that surround you daily.  Open your heart to see that most are fighting for the same higher power, we just cry out for help with different names.  

So, Yes.  The GREATEST ENEMY OF GOD'S CHURCH, IS MOST DEFINITELY THE CHURCH ITSELF.   And there is no where on this earth that has not proven this time and time again.

Weddings Weddings Everywhere

Spring has come, and gone, and the official first day of Summer has recently passed. Now, with tanned skin and highlighted hair comes the next of the seasons.

Bride Season.

Anyone who has ever been married, has planned a wedding, or even dreampt of the wedding day, (which pretty much encompasses every female on the planet) knows that the beginning of summer is the best time of the year to get married. The weather feels like cooperating, and the flowers lend a welcoming perfume to the air. This is perfect for out door weddings.

So, with the entrance of warmer days, comes the onslaught of blushing brides and their entourage planning the perfect weddings. Many have probably finished the majority of their preparations already, from the exact number of chairs that need to be rented for the ceremony to the mints on the pillows decorating the bed on the big night. 

Well good for them.  For everyone else who is not born organized, the process of preparing for the wedding is daunting at it's best moments.  When I began this process, I figured that having my three best friends, my fiancee, and my close family gather for a small ceremony would be an easy thing to plan.  Fast forward almost a year later.  (Yes, I have been working on this for over a year.  God, has it been that long already?)  

The small wedding that we originally planned for has expanded to 150+ people, (cause you can't leave out your cousin's brother's ex-wife) and the details are starting to pile up.  See, we already have the big things taken care of.  Renting the hall, where the food's at, who's going to say the Holy vows, as well as the clothing, dj, and photographer.  All taken care off.  The rest of it should just fall into place, right? 

Nooooo Grasshopper.  There are tons of little details that need to be looked into.  What jewelery is the mother of the bride going to wear?  Shoes anyone?  Where are we getting the flowers?  Where's the day after party going to be?  What about the gift opening?  (Gift Opening?  That's like the birthday parties where you sat in the middle of the room and everyone stared at you while you made the appropriate Oooo's and Ahhhh's.  NO THANKS.  Vetoed that one.)  

And did you know that if you rent so many tux's from Men's Warehouse, that you get one rental free?  Then there's choosing the music for the ceremony.  Oh! Wait,  We don't have music for the ceremony.  Better put that on the list. Don't forget to register for everything your heart desires.  Honeymoon anyone?  Can we agree on where to go?  Not a chance.  

With all the options out there and decisions to be made, I am truly shocked that anyone survives the planning phase to get to the actual ceremony.  Now, there are a few helpful sites out there that have done us a world of good.  OurWeddingDay.com and EZWeddingPlanner.com are two.  

Take advantage of the information on the sites.  They help tons.  

Speical note for brides...  With all the well meaning advise out there, mine included, take it with a grain of sand.  Remember, this is your day, and it should be done the way you see it, not the way your Great Aunt Matilda thought that her own wedding should have gone. 

Good Luck Summer Brides.  I have joined your ranks, and now need a drink.